26 July, 2025

New Yawk Citay, Traveling, Nokia 2780

I’m here now, and wow! The flight was a nightmare. Delays, hangups, all the fixings. It was made bearable by this older woman I met named Donna who had this “lived it all, honey” attitude that was honestly helpful in keeping patient. We chatted for the whole line, up until we got on the plane and Whoops! We were sitting right next to each other. So we kept chatting, it was a ball. She looked almost exactly like Judith Butler? It was awesome.

I think I mentioned getting a flip phone? Well I have it now, the Nokia 2780 flip. It’s a great feature phone, but I was worried traveling was going to be difficult when I didn’t have apps or games or movies in my pocket. Usually when I fly I use whatever airline app and use my boarding pass digitally, then I download a show and watch it on the plane, so this time I had to get creative. The boarding pass thing was… so overrated. I just printed it. Like it was not even a minute of my time. It also automatically enrolled my phone number in text updates about the flight, so I was not at all out of the loop.

For entertainment, I decided to dust off my 3ds xl, I had all my rom hacks and an old copy of Nintendogs + cats to play with and honestly? I only used it for like a sliver of the ride. Instead I found myself either watching the built-in cable, looking out the window, or talking to Donna. All of which were far more… interactive? Then I usually get? I liked it, honestly. I hope to have people as pleasant as Donna on my way back. I also drew a lot! I was craving a smoke.

Anyways I’m now here in New York City! Shoutout to my buddy, I’m here to see him but to also take a chance to see the sights. She’s currently working at one of the biggest museums here, which means we can see ALL the biggest museums here because of, NY reasons? Whatever, I won’t refuse the chance to see the Met and MoMA for free...

We have a party to go to, I have a round of stickers to pollute NY with, we have a trip to stonewall planned –- I could not be more excited. Here are some of those stickers, I made the ones on the left and a buddy of mine made the ones on the right

Almost unrelated – holy shit queer drama in NY state is absolutely diabolical.

Expect some photo dumps, expect some art stuff, it'll be a whole thing. Day one, down and out!

6 July, 2025

Blog #1: 28 Days/Weeks/Years Later

Speaking of movies, I saw 28 years later. You know, the zombie movie trilogy I was talking about? I'll be honest, I thought it was… fine? There are some interesting parts, specifically in the beginning. Some of the more scenic shots and thriller bits were really well done, but I can't help but feel like it was incomplete. Which makes sense, considering it was incomplete. The last hour builds up to what feels like the end, the MC leaves to go explore the zombie-ladden world on his own, but in the last 5 minutes some Norwegian Death Metal Cirque du Soleil group shows up to thrash some zombs and befriend the MC?? I couldn't make this up if I tried. That's when I found out 28 years later would NOT be the final installation. I have.. _{mixed emotions.}

Ok, that's a lie, I'm peeved. I really don't like this new ethos of filmmaking I'm seeing. Everything is just another live-action remaster or a portion of a movie split over 2 trilogies and a final megafilm. It's annoying!!!! I don't get excited to watch movies anymore, and it's just compounding my frustrations with the entertainment ecosystem even more.

The only saving grace I'll give 28 years later is that there's a REALLY interesting decision made when they cameoed Cillian Murphy. If you don't know, he was the main character Jim. At the end of the movie he's still alive, working towards getting rescued. In 28 weeks later, we didn't see him at all, which made me curious if he and his crew managed to survive. In the most recent one, 28 years later (they really need clearer names…) we see a no-name zombie that ends up being Mr. Murphy himself. For the life of me, I can't decide whether I like this decision or not. On the one hand, it's kind of… fun? For those who know/watched the previous movies, you'll see him and know what happened to it, and you don't lose any of the main movie plot this time around if you didn't manage to watch the previous movies. On the other hand, it's so… pessimistic. I mentioned that the original movie was about hope, the human condition and loneliness, and I thought that was really well-captured in 28 days. But now? He's just. Dead. and we know that now, and don't get to hope. I'll be honest, when I first saw him I wasn't all that excited to see the notable actor Cillian Murphy, so much as I just felt sad to see zombie Jim.

I feel like it was maybe just a way to throw his name onto the credits and get long-time fans to watch or new fans of Murphy after Oppenhimer to tag along for the ride. Honestly I feel like 28 days later is better as a standalone, and 28 weeks later + 28 years later can just.. Loosely coexist in the same universe.

...this is a movie review blog, right?

29 June, 2025

Blog #2: Summer Happenings, Allyship, Community, Art, Dumbphones

I went to an art museum, saw a cool exhibit about riot grrrl and counter-cultures in the area. There was this collection of zines that made me want to digitize my collection. New project idea for the website? It also gave me the motivation I needed to finally get another batch of stickers done. I invited some friends, we watched some cartoons, and they turned out great! I'll upload the stickers we've put up in the art stuff page soon.

Went to a pride picnic with my mom, it was a small event runned by the community members in the area. As far as I am aware, it was only put out as a facebook message. I observed a few things that I'm still thinking about today, because I think there's something to be said about this and I don't know what it is yet.

- It was a small group, but we had community directors, voting canvassers, elder queers, allies, literal strangers, as well as a whole host of members of the community.

- The conversations around queer interpolitics were interesting, namely there was a shift I noticed where allies talked about themselves being targeted or hatecrimed for being allies, which is...interesting! Both in the use of that particular language but also the idea that there are people targeting non-queer allies of the community. They talked about “needing to step it down for their own safety”, makes sense I suppose, but it makes me wonder what silent allies are good for in a time where we're all being targeted.

- A total of 5 police cars came and circled the event. Usually 2-3 at a time. Like I said, it was a small event. No more than 100 people met at the public park to eat food and do pride-themed arts and crafts. We apparently didn't ask for the protection, and the police didn't communicate that they would be coming. They wouldn't say why they were there, but would stand and watch in the corner.

- We never had agitators, which makes the cop presence strange. Interestingly, I noticed that attitudes towards the cops were really divided, which makes sense. Forgive me if I quietly made pig jokes with my friends… The only time the cops interacted with anyone was when they started talking to the kids at the event and handing out stickers of police badges.

Anyways the food was delicious, I have a lot of lovely pins, and got to sign up for another Ice protest. I was worried about not being as connected to community organizing here in my hometown compared to where I go to university.

And finally, I bought a flip phone. I've been thinking about it for a while (see Blog #1), and I realized I was spending so much time trying to find the perfect one, or WORSE just thinking about how nice it would be without actually taking the plunge. I do this sometimes, spend days making modpacks for minecraft but never playing, designing games I'll never build -- I think I get caught up in the planning too much, so I just went and did it. I'll make a dumbphone blog I think, talking about all that stuff, you'll see it at some point!

Here's some content I've digested to give back to you like a mama bird (open wide...):

Testojunkie (Book): I think this book has been in the back of my mind for a while, and I saw a quote while scrolling on instagram reels before I realized I could just look up a pdf… and… scroll the book.. So I did that. Here's a link if you'd like [Testojunkie PDF]. I'll be honest, after a while I started skipping the heavy theory and diving deeper and deeper into how Paul recounts his own life. His philosophy about the self, gender, bodies, and pathology are all really interesting, but only when applied to his life. I like the term autotheory for this, which he uses frequently. He finds philosophy, metaphor, morals, and idiosyncratic truths that only apply in his bubble in life, and I find that fascinating. I like when people do this, let themselves be non-linear and pattern-addled monkeys.

28 Days Later (Movie): My dad and I are going to a drive-in tonight to watch the most recent movie in this zombie trilogy, so we've been watching the older 2. Listen to me; this is not your average zombie movie. I'm not kidding. Yes it has all your zombie grease and thriller fat, but the gristle of the movie comes from how strangely beautiful it is. The writing deals with the classic “lord of the flies” esque setting -- humans left on their own will turn into their worst, animalistic qualities ooooo!!! But more than that, it deals with the effects of isolation, hope, love, and the human urge for connection. There are these shots, right? And I don't know if its the time this movie was made or the director or if this is just another one of those indie films where no-names can really sink their teeth into avante garde style, but these scenes let me breathe in a way I really enjoyed. Shots linger on nothing, with no narrative to gain other than to set the tone, almost 10 minutes of the movie follows just an empty london, and there's this one with a rooftop and hundreds of containers? I can't do it justice. Go watch it!

28 Weeks Later (Movie): it was alright.

20 June, 2025

Blog #1: Bored, Bored of Being Bored, Dumb Phones, Website

Honestly I don't know what to do with myself?

I went ahead and did more work for summer school than I had to, and now I'm 2 weeks ahead, and now I REALLY have nothing to do. Which I guess means this is a really good time to dedicate myself and start working on this site more, but I feel so intimidated as a newbie webdev (If you can even call me that?). I have so many ideas and things I want to work on, but I'm always caught up in trying to do it the “right way”. Like this blog page! I want to have it appear on the front page, updated with each new post to show like, the newest one? But everytime I try and start tackling that, it seems like a bigger and bigger project until I keep putting it off and I end up not working on the site at all.

HOW STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!! So I think the solution is just to let myself have a shitty website for the time being. I want to get to actually making the content, you know? And no ones really watching me while I stumble (except my besties who have been watching me stumble, love you guys).

Anyways, sort of related but I'm realizing a big part of my issues with making art/working on these bigger projects in general is how much easier I find it just to scroll on my phone and have an endless stream of entertainment at my fingertips.

I think it's making me docile, in a weird way. I used to have this itch when I was younger, to just make things. I think a lot of people can relate. I remember being in restaurants using crayons to draw on napkins -- being on sidewalks using sticks to make houses for bugs -- I remember this one time my parents were having a dinner party and left me alone with printer paper, scissors and tape. I made a dress, with straps and a flowing skirt-piece. I wore it out on the patio with the adults the rest of the night, really proud of myself, and obsessed with my creation. Part of me really, really misses that restlessness, because it was almost always followed by that necessary creativity to keep me entertained. The horrible part is that with my phone, I'm STILL BORED; scrolling on the internet doesn't scratch the itch, just makes me forget it's there. Which isn't what I want.

This is a very long way of saying I'm looking into getting a flip phone. A real clunker. I'm not really trying to abandon the modern internet, but I want to be more intentional about it. More selective? I want to be connected to my loved ones, but I don't want that to come at the cost of being connected to everything, everywhere, all at once, too.

I think this website is maybe a part of that switch, too. I used to have social media where I posted my art, but I could never keep up with the required output of posts, the changing of trends, etc. After a while, I got so tired of feeding into the endless attention abyss, and I haven't been back since. I realize in retrospect what I wanted was just some digital space to host my work, both as an archive for myself and a gallery for people to see me and what I make.

2/2 blog posts that are watered-down website manifestos, sorry not sorry!!!

16 June, 2025

Blog #0: Dummy Article, Website, MFA, Turning 20

gotta say more so I can get a feel for the formatting. yadda yadda yadda. I'm planning so much interesting stuff you DON'T even know. I'll do more frequent short-form blog posts that will just be like. Throwaway thoughts.. or just mood updates, complaints, things I need to get out of my system. I'll also do less frequent but longer-formed blog posts. Maybe just about my life? what I'm working on? things I've been thinking about, projects I've got goin' on. the works. I dunno, I'm not trying to make it too formulaic yet, we'll see what I gravitate twoards. yknow? As for right now, I'm out on summer vay-cay with little vay to cay (I do summer school to save some moolah). As I'm struggling 3 days in a row to log into Canvas, I'm realizing something:

society regressed once we invented Multi-Factor Authentication. Like really. Who needs it? If I know my hush-hush secret code, isn't that enough? Canvas, you don't trust me?

Anyways, I'm realizing this is, in fact, turning into a real blog post. So what else is going on with me? I just turned 20, maybe a little sad to see my teenage years flushed down the time-drain, but I'm also excited to get older. There are two wolves in me who both have complicated relationships with time. This website is really the only "project" I have right now, but I feel another batch of sticker art bubbling in me, so maybe I'll take photos of my grafiti in situ to show you? It's so cool that I get to do that. Just. Upload it to the web. On MY bit of the web. So, I guess I should just get back to making that, huh? I think this is enough text.